a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize