I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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