I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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