She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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