dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
