Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
