I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
