I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize