I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The adults are the big ones right?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
