I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
