That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
