If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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