and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The Olympian is in my bed
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