come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
