the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
