Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
