I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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