Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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