so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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