Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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