He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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