worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
