420 ftw
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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