This is not my ceiling
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
