i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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