With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
