I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
