what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
