dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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