we have pet lesbian snakes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
