My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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