would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
