apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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