so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
