Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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