she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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