I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
