i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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