Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
