brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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