I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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