I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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