OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
