It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize