I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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