I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
