I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
