i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
