is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
