plz talk dirty to me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize