i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
