dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you made out with another girl for some wings
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Panties = found
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