I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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