I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize