We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
