Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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