My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
