used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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